Tag Archives: smells


27 Mar


Am fooding badly tonight.

…Post-rehearsal starvation is unbelievable.  Our Miep was eating a beautiful Qdoba burrito, Peter was tossing back brownies…I sat while running lines, crocheting like a fucking maniac just to try keeping myself as side-tracked as possible.  During break, I drank more tea, went pee, and started right back up where I had left off. 

…Rehearsal is turning into the mega-challenge of fooding, possibly of all time.

Mr. Krahler is a frequent customer of the Southern Fried Chicken place next door.  The Franks come straight from work, so are always unveiling new tupperware full of this’s and that’s…Mr. Director is a fan of sushi, someone keeps bringing in community muffins and breads, leaving them on the concessions counter, free for the taking. They have bins of chocolates, and redvines. Miep bought the brownies. Mr. Frank takes hot cocoa ‘tween breaks…and I sit there…with my fucking tumbler of plain Lipton’s bag tea, hating my life more, with each new smell, and food offer.


…I passed no less than 8 fast food light signs on the freeway on the way home tonight.  Each one, a seperate stab in an already salted wound.  Right now, I want grease and sauced meats and salt so bad, I can almost taste the smell of it, left over from that damn burrito.  I want chocolate-dipped pastry and pie crusts baked with five pounds of butter.  And pickles.  And some peppered salami, with Tillamook sharp on a club cracker.  I want the WORLD of every craving that has prob’ly ever been invented…and ten or twelve others besides,

…It’s actually, gnawing at me.  Like a conscience-driven hunger.

…Compounded (no doubt) with double intensity as my hormones shift into PMS overdrive, so ramped…I feel like I could easily put my fist through a brick wall to get at a cream puff on the other side. 

…And I don’t even LIKE cream puffs in real life! 

It is only “desire.”


It is horrible.

…And the only way around it…

…Is to go to bed.


…And pull up something from Netflix onto my computer…

…Something TOTALLY distracting, and nothing AT ALL about “food” in any way.

…Like a National Geographic on Mummies or some shit.

…So that AT SOME POINT, I will mercilessly just fall asleep.

And forget I even have a stomach.

…Or human feelings.

…And taste buds.


Ohhhh I WANT!!!


I cocking HATE you: BMI chart. 

I really, really hate you.

For reals.


The Evil Smell Of “Yum”

28 Feb


Hello Bunnies! 

Am super ecstatic to report that in the quest to lose tonnage for my current show, ye olde scale finally hit the negative 10 marker! That’s right, 10 pounds lost, since first weigh-in on February 12th!

The craptastical thing about it, is that I only getta claim 7 pounds of that “legit,” as my “cheat-day” saw me gain 3 pounds and have to re-lose it again…plus another pound, which took me until this morning to finally accomplish.

…And what have we learned from this?

…We learned that it isn’t worth a whole day of cheating to have to work 3 days after that, in order to get outta the hole.

…Which means less of a cheat on cheating days.

This is something I can totally do, you guys. 

My goal was 20 lbs by Opening…and had I not stuffed m’damn gob so hard last weekend, I would be halfway there by now.  And STILL not even by calorie counting or “technically” starving m’self.

(* “technically” refers to the fact that my body has plenty input to work on and burn off, with all kinds of green things and homemade foods. But, because I’m me, I am perpetually “hungry” nearly every waking moment of the day.)

The cravings are stupendous. 

I instantly want to eat everything I lay my eyes on…even things I wouldn’t in “real life.”  This makes going to a grocery store, or even the gas station, a major mental hurdle of willpower.  For some reason, my sense of smell has also become magnified to pick up just the faintest whiffs of foodage…cooking 3 miles away…in a house…somewhere in my neighborhood. 

…I swear to you, I could smell pasta sauce simmering, when getting out of my car last night.

With me, this will always be a constant fight, that will never get easier.  Such is the life of a foodie. And I’m one of the foodiest.

…At some point, I’ll be able to add in exercise beyond pacing in my office…soon as the weather turns.  No time to get soaking wet post-work, and pre-rehearsal, then shower et al.  Nor do I choose to chance getting a cold right now.  So, until these gray clouds and random sky pissings calm down to less than 7 days per week, this is the way it’s gonna be.

In Other News:  Finished blocking last night for the entire show, which means we are fucking WIZARDS! (But not literally.  Although, that might be cool to try sometime.)

…I am on my 4th cup of black coffee, (which helped me thru this morning’s Month-End closeouts), and am now off to spend my “lunch,” learning more lines… keeping my mouth too busy to chew on things.


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