Tag Archives: pirates

The Pirate Is Forced To Retire

17 May

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Two moving vans and and new wireless notification pop up, announced the worst.

“Relocation of your wireless signal.”

My leached-for-free internet of the past several months was mourned, duely.

A moment of silence, in respect.

It is a very terrible thing to be, suddenly, a Pirate without the free  booty to pillage.  One feels quite at a loss.  Like an actor whose just finished their last gig and has nothing next to move onto.

Incomplete.

Naked.

Vulnerable.

Frustrated.

…And highly inconvenienced.

The hope-through-positive-thinking, that whomever will fill said apartment, will be just as liberal with their signal, is too mean a temptation to fall under. 

In these days?

With all the assholes in the world?

…Who will break into your account without your permission?

…Whenever they freakin’ want?

Be real.

NO ONE in their right mind, would be open to that.

…And I will miss my little overly-trusting brothers, who (no doubt) have moved to other pastures that they will equally water with the blessings of their free-willingness to spread joy and free-internet-wonder amongst the masses.

It was a short romance, but it was voracious in content, and exceedingly memorable.

…I will always look on these months as a time of wonder, great growth, and astounding culture, for which: I thank you.

Not every Pirate had been so nobly sponsored.

I will never forget you.

Signed,

The Dread Internet Pirate

~D

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Pirates, Paperwork, Pasta, & Polish Sausage

2 Apr

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Up before the rooster again, for pill-taking purposes.  Heating pads galore.

…Paperwork, paperwork, paperwork.

…A bowl of pasta sprinkled with Moroccan chili spice, tossed with Polish sausage, and a spinach salad for dinner.

…A rehearsal that, for all the world, felt like the first one after five days off, with a bunch of new props, and the semi freak-out realization that we open in 10 days.

…Cloudy contacts all the way home.

…And why the hell did I hit the scale when I promised myself I wouldn’t until hormone water retention was past? 

…And why the hell, most especially, after a dinner containing half of Europe in my guts?

When was the last time I took pain pills?

All the past three days of 5 ams and 10 ams and 2 pms and 5:30 pms and 7pms, 10 pms and 1 ams, have bled together in one long string of pill-taking that honestly leaves me baffled on when and how the last batch was achieved.

I hate pills.

…And the scouting for pretzels or whatever to eat them with…

…When it’s still dark out…

…So I don’t puke all over myself…

…From upset tummy…

…Caused by the pills…

…Which are supposed to make me feel better.

So goes the medical profession.

…Their own special brand of “job security.”

…And speaking of medical professions:

Have spent past two days pirating Call the Midwife, Season 2.

…While paperworking.

As always, when I pirate, I feel bad and immediately kill each episode I rip, post-mortem.

…And add it to my Amazon wish list for actual purchase.

…But this way I still get to watch it when I want to…

…While poor.

…Without having to wait.

…Because I don’t feel like it right now.

…And I didn’t feel like it for the new Jonathan Creek, either.

…But I mean: for fucks sake, it has Joanna Lumley in it.

I’m not WAITING for that!

I’m WATCHING that!

Hells yes I am!

…And then I’ll put it on my list of things you should buy me for my birthday and stuff. As like, a sponsor. Or enabler. But it has nothing to do with food, so that’s okay.

…And speaking of food:

I want my pillow worse than a brownie fudge sundae right now.

…So I’m gonna have it.

…It’s way cheaper in calories, for one thing.

…And I’ll be gladder for it around 4:30 when the cramps begin to start beating on me again.

Yes: “Gladder.” I said it.

~D
 

Pirate WiFi & Scriptopia

18 Sep

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I would first of all like to publicly thank the new neighbor in C1, who decided NOT to password protect their wireless signal.

…Those two days where I was kinda pissed from all the stomping around and nailing things at all hours, that they did?  I’m totally over it now.  And I’ll try my best not to watch weird circus porn (apparently it exists, you guys, and I just found out about it)…or steal too many torrent downloads while on their network. Because even through I am a Pirate, we still have “codes of honor” and  things. And the first one is that Pirates don’t “accidentally” crash other people’s systems while pirating from them. Because that’s just rude.  Although, it’s entirely possible that since my Android pad is really a “phone,” they don’t even know I’m ripping signal from them anyway…due to Ice Cream Sandwich being way more awesome and stealthy than a Windows platform.  Or whatever the hell Mac runs on. 

…Which basically makes me kind of a Pirate Ninja, really.

Tell me I didn’t just get cooler right now.  Go ahead. Tell me.

…So thanks, C1 for the free juice.  Maybe my hotspot will quit maxing out now, and I can watch Netflix streams until my eyes pop out.

Anything is possible, friends.

In Other News: It is time to start making out with m’script. The joy of highlighting (orange, thank you) has already commenced. I’ve done a couple skim-throughs, and tonight I start hashing it up with notes…till it roughly resembles a road map used by someone in a foreign country, who really really likes to make liner notes. Tomorrow: begins the memorizing.

…Fuck how I hate it so.

…It’s a Shakespeare, btw. “Twelfth Night.” I’ll be the saucy wench-cuz, Maria. (Of course.) And where that isn’t exactly a far stretch in character range for me, (no!) I haven’t done a Shakes in like eight or nine years now…so gettin’ back into the flow of things will give me something to push against and reach for.

Fun role and one of m’favorite shows in the cannon.

This, more than any of the others, really balances out into a true “ensemble” cast of complete, rounded characters. Everyone gets to play at all levels and have their day. And it’s one of the very few wherein the strong female central role doesn’t have to pay for her power, out the ass, sometime later.

(…Hello, Lady Mackers, and Kate and Gertrude et al…I’m talkin’ ’bout YOU.)

…Our leading lady is “M” (of “Agatha Christie In Spandex” fame), just in case you were wondering. So that’ll only be an effing hoot-and-a-half. Should get quite a few people’s butts in the seats, too.

I know mine would be, if it weren’t already busy on stage at the time.

…I can only imagine the kinda blogs I’ll get outta this one. A lot of the cast are old friends, but there is a large rush of new blood in the ranks as well. So we’ll have the freak-troops of olde, intermingling with first timers to infuse gobs of energy. Plus, it’ll be the first time I’ve set foot on that particular stage since last December…when I was doing that little singing, drinking, dancing, crying and dieing, ditty..throughout the Holiday season.

…So this’ll be a little different, then…pretty much all ’round.

I say thee, ye!

…And with that, I’m off to steal signals, search the webs, and scribble in study. Like the good little Pirate-Wench-Ninja, that I am.

Cheers!

~D

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