Tag Archives: month end

On The Docket

30 Apr



…So, tomorrow is Wednesday.

I have to remind myself because I haven’t had a “normal” week in like two…”normal” not compared to other people, but just in junction with myself even.

I dunno if I’m coming or going, or really to where, or which county it is in.

This has been a problem since I first started the cold meds. 

…Work at home this day, into half of second, then office, then office again, airport run, south-end run, north-end triple runs: show – show – show, close. Mrs. Johnson pops up, birthday happenings…in another state…back home again, day off, think finally kicked cold, south-end again, half day work from home, airport run again, back to office, prep month-end, home to beat down rest of hangover and study for tomorrow, Ma’s to laundry, back home to blog.

…Is there any freakin’ wonder I’m a total mess right now?

Tomorrow is month-end, followed by about three hours of call-backs for “Importance of Being Earnest.”

…Called for Gwendolyn.

…Which means retracting the 40-something Jewish WWII mama, into a refined 20-something, posh, obsessive-compulsive, Edwardian, proposal-magnet.

Pffft!  I can totally do that on a dime! (She says, trying her best to state it without an inherent question mark at the end.)

…Which will only bring us to halfway through the week that already wouldn’t end. 

And this HUGE zit (which apparently has a cousin staying with Marty), just showed up yesterday.  Prime time for me to look my best, in times when it really matters.

…Meanwhile, I got m’first beautiful blue box of goodies from Tiffany’s in the mail, (c/o Aunty L), a new role offer from a theatre up north, (to keep me busy this fall), devoured this little lovely ditty (which I highly recommend for the equally obsessed) and now: I am off to bed.


…Guys, we ain’t even halfway through yet.



…I mean, “bugger.”


I mean, “How very unfortunate that my current lifestyle is so fully without apparent rhyme nor reason,  when it comes to obtaining sufficient amounts of sleep and focus in order to successfully achieve one’s efforts, when one does try so hard to do ones best.”

(A little grindey on the gears there, friend.  Focus-up! it’s game-time!)


Wasted, On A Tuesday

2 Oct


Now that month-end is over, my thoughts are almost entirely placed on lines…and the Yakisoba left-overs in my fridge.

I am super hungry.

…Which is prob’ly why I can’t concentrate on anything at all right now.

Have been spending the day drinking terrible coffee that faintly resembles the cleaning fluid section at the grocery store.  I can’t quite put my finger on why, or what the specific scent/taste is reminding me of, but I know its something toxic and wrong.  Yet I keep drinking it.  Was hoping it would keep my tummy from growling.  All it’s really done is make my mouth taste like bitter antiseptic.

…I think I’m getting a headache.

Today is clearly one of those post month-end-from-hell, life-sucker ones, where you kinda feel like you have a hangover the next day.  And it would prob’ly help a lot to just punch someone. Yesterday’s round of shit accomplished just exhausted the life out of me.  Which is inconvenient when it is only “Tuesday.”    

…Also, it’s been a day from Hell in the phones department. 

Ringing, ringing, ringing…all day long

…Three lines lit at the same time while you’re on another.  Can’t catch up with them…even when I try to liquidate them from the VM roster, they are multiplying due to the fact that EVERYONE IN THE WORLD monitors their phones.  So they wait to get a message, then call, then wait to get a message, then call…it never ends.  I’ll get in carousel rides with these people all day long…calling and re-calling, and re-calling the same bastards over and over and over again…because they can’t be bothered to pick up.

…And they ALWAYS bitch when you finally DO gain access to them: ” I’ve called and called and called you people…!” 

Yes.  I fucking KNOW.  It’s because you won’t stop calling, and just pick up the goddamn phone (along with the seventy other people today) that I am constantly on the line and cannot answer!  How about you recognize that you AREN’T the ONLY customer I have, nor my full purpose in a day.

…You guys, I’m really cranky right now, and I know it…but there’s just nothing to be done.  I called it at noon.  Just gotta suffer until the clock clicks over to four and I can get the hell outta here.

Sometimes, I just don’t have the capacity to give a shit about the work day, the customers, the constant demands, the always being pulled in twelve directions.  And this, my friends, is one of those days. 

I hope yours has been “gooder.”


The Great FedEx-ing

1 Oct


Boss spent an hour and twenty minutes today trying to figure out how to FedEx a box, on account.  This was due to the fact I was too busy with month end, and he’d forgotten he’d promised it to someone last Friday.

…As I continued my ongoing coding and computing sessions, he continued to pop his head in for help, rendering the fact that I was too busy to do it all to begin with, totally irrelevant.  It would have just been easier had I done it.

Boss: Hi. Yeah.  What site do we go to?

Me: FedEx.com.

Boss: Really?  Not a special account one?

Me: No.


Boss: What’s our login and password?

Me: It’s in the Master Book.

Boss: What’s that? 

(I hand him book, and work on.)


Boss:  Where in the book?

Me: Huh?

Boss:  The login and password.  Where is it?

Me: In the section marked “Accounts Info,” under, “FedEx.”


Boss: Do we have any packing tape?

Me: Prob’ly.

Boss: Where would it be?

Me: In the supply closet.

(From supply closet)

Boss:  Where?

Me: With the tape. 

Boss: I don’t see it.

Me: Are you looking?

Boss: Yes.

Me: With your eyes?

Boss: Oh. There it is.


(The sounds of manic amounts of taping are coming from his office.)

Me: The box break?

Boss: No. I’m just trying to put the label on.

Me: That’s what the sleeve envelope is for.

(I get up and walk to his doorway. The single piece of paper is taped so hard to the box that a blizzard couldn’t part them.)

Boss: (Looking up from the ground, while sweating.) Will this work, do you think?

Me: (Blink.) Sure.


Boss: Hey. So where online do I go to call in a “pick-up?”

Me: You can just call the 800 number.


Boss: Where?

Me: What?

Boss: I can’t find the 800 number.

Me: It’s on the main page under…you know what…it’s on speed dial in the phone. Just go there.

Boss: Kay…


Boss: How do you get to speed dial?


Boss: (On phone.) No. I tried the phone tree and it just went on forever. I need a person. It’s this number. No we aren’t located there anymore. No, we aren’t. No. Nope. No. Don’t you pick things up from us like every other day?! How can you not find us?! (To me.) They can’t find us!

Me: Give them our phone number.

Boss: I did that.

Me: And my name.


Boss: (Into phone.) No, “on account.” No. “Account” “Account.” Yes. Oh. I dunno. (To me) What’s our account number?

Me: It’s on the label.

Boss: (Into phone.) It’s on the label.

Me: No, no…”it’s on the label”…you have to look at the label.

Boss: (Into the phone.) The label!

Me: No! You! You have to look at the label. The one you taped to the box.

Boss: Oh! Right. (Into phone.) Just a second…


(I walk in his office, a post-it with our month-end totals on it is placed under his nose, as he is still on the phone.)

Me: …Nearly $300k.

Boss: (Hangs up phone.) They’ll be here by four. Fuck.

Me: That was FedEx the whole time?!

Boss: Do you know how many kinds of “Express” they have? First Day, Second Day, Next Day — JUST GET IT THERE! I DON’T CARE!! I’m exhausted. I’m gonna go getta drink.

Me: Right.

Boss: See you later.

Me: Uh huh.

***He exits the door***


Boss: I brought you some tacos.

Me: Okay.

Boss: So, can I go for the day now?

Me: Sure. Thanks for the tacos…

Boss: …Fucking Mondays…

Me: (Mouth full of taco.) Yep.

***He leaves for good***


A Lunch Posting

28 Sep


Writing this in m’car while eating my lunch.

…Its a sad turn of events when you have to cloister yourself in the car (in the parking lot) just to get away from the phones and nonstop influx of month-endiness. Sometimes I shut myself in the bathroom too…but it doesn’t always work. If Boss is there, he’ll just talk at me through the door…whether or not a tinkle can be heard throughout.

“I’m going pee!” I will often yell, enroute, “don’t bother me!”

…Sometimes he doesn’t, sometimes he does. Mostly he just can’t understand why I won’t continue to do business while “doing business”…because he does all the time.

…Apparently, that’s what a well-timed “mute” button is for.

I’m really tired today.

…My own fault.

Stayed up until two, on back-to-back nights.

…All the month-end prep hit today, checks were sent to wrong addresses again, and I have a headache.

But DAMN my lines are doin’ good!!

Boss keeps lookin’ out the window at me. Like a dog waiting for his people to come home.

…There’s prob’ly another paper travesty.

…Or he lost his car keys again.

…Or maybe the phone rang, and he answered it, but doesn’t know what happens next.

I’m exaggerating, of course.


…Temples beating in a pulse. I need to get some serious sleep tonight, or I’m gonna be sick. Sooo much alliteration right there, I sound like a snake.


Must go back in, and face the desk and papers and whatever mess is brewing that has Boss pacing the lobby back and forth.

…So glad that it is Friday.

You don’t even know.


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