Tag Archives: football

The One Where Seattle Is Just Awesome…

3 Feb


So, I dunno much about football, but I do know theatre.  Yesterday’s Superbowl was like the equivalent of opening “Spiderman: The Musical,” for the Broncos.

…You could almost feel sorry for them.


Since I am a CA transplant, I would have once upon a time been auto-assigned as a Broncos fan, had I not been living here already for 14 years come March.  Going by the, “if you’ve lived here ten years or longer, this is now your hometown” rule, I am officially a Seattle fan. 

…Even if I don’t understand most of the rules of the game.

…Or why they chose to do this play here.  Or how “this” way wins you two points, “this” way wins you seven, and “this” way wins you a bonus one…or why.

Frankly, I still think they make half the shit up as they go along, however…I do have basic instinct, and the ability to yell at people.  So knowing, “we wanna run that way,” and “not let them go here” is all you really need, in the end, to get into a sport whose plays last less than 2 seconds on average, and end up on slow motion repeat five times or more afterward, before the next one takes place. 

…Something like 60 minutes of actual play time across four hours of “game.”

That’s like stretching a TV episode to the length of “Hamlet”…

…But, you know…if that’s your thing, have at it!

Yesterday was YOUR Opening Night, football fans!

Your teams trained for months, through soft openings on the road, polishing your production values to a fine point, so that by last night’s Gala: There you stood, with what felt like the whole world watching, ready to puke with nerves and hoping to God that you would remember your lines.

…Which only makes it worse when 12 seconds into the performance, one of you trips and falls off the stage.

…And sorta just stays down there…

…In the pit…


…Cuz you can’t find the stairs.

…Meanwhile, leaving your costar to go on and win the Tony.

(And prob’ly Oscar too, when they make it into a movie.)

In short: Everyone has had a “bad Opening”…but yesterday’s Bronco Superbowl game, was roughly about as ridiculously bad as this, were it done in total earnest, costing around $470 million to produce, seen by 108.4 million people, with the cast making $49,000 per person, for a one-time performance…just for getting there.

…And THAT is from the perspective of a person who had (until yesterday) never even seen more than fifteen minutes of a football game, in their entire life.

The end.


A Buddy Date

27 Oct


It’s buddy night.

The Fella, “Marty” and I grab beer, Cheetos, and pizza, and put on the Michigan game.

…”Marty” loses her mind as her Alma Mater’s Quarterback is outed on an injury, and all hell breaks loose. She’s jumping up and down, screaming at the TV, baiting the other team’s players with mean commentaries, bitching the umpires out on their calls, and yelling her ass off when any yardage is gained at all. She also yells when yardage is lost, but it sounds totally different from the other scream.

…The Fella might get evicted for this, but seems to be taking it quite well. In fact, I think it’s kinda catching. Cuz half way in, he’s hollering at the TV as well.

…In between plays, they go through all the intricacies of the game for me…using diagrams and dots, with swishing and articulate angles, in a host of examples of plays. I watch, blinking on, as I am not now, nor have ever been the slightest bit interested in Football, and prob’ly never will be. But for some reason, with the level of excitement they wield, and the intensity of their miming and explanations, I start to actually get a little into it all. Surprising, how much they get me to retain before “Marty” commands the game be shut off, end of the last quarter…so she doesn’t have to watch her beloved team “not win.”

…Notice how I didn’t say “lose.” It’s cuz I understand her grief, and I care about her too much for that.

…To try and ease the pain, we then pop on “Halo,” and commence blowing the absolute shit outta things, as therapy. For something like four hours. Then it turns to theatre talks, and chip eatings and tech stuffs and playwrights, and classical vs. contemporary works and how they sell, and why, and which ones we wanna do. It’s nearly two now as I complete this blog, (began earlier in the evening), and we have just finally left The Fella’s and The BFF’s house…nine hours later.

So we had a good day of it.

…Was nice to be back in the apartment again. I hadn’t been since The BFF moved to L.A.. And though I thought it might be kinda sad to go hang out there all night without her…there was no need to think so. She’s all over the place, in the million little ways that people you love always are. I miss her, sure, but it turned into the good kind…because we were thinkin’ about her, she was checkin’ in from time to time, and I know she was stoked that we had hang time together, so The Fella’s inclination to just work non-stop all the time, would get a much needed rest.

At least for tonight.

…If you call us “rest.” Which I really doubt you could. But at least beer was involved.

And now: to bed.

Full run again tomorrow. Early scene workings before the “go.” Need to get some good sleep.

It’s gonna be a long one.


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