Tag Archives: Emma Thompson

An Open Letter

30 Dec

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Dear God,

Please make me morph (as close as humanly possible) into a carbon copy of Emma Thompson, someday.

…I should like to own the linguistic and intellectual banter to keep up with the Cambridge fellows of her like, as Stephen Fry, and Peter Laurie, and all the rest.

…Please let me one day read Lit in a top worldly place of letters and write an Oscar winning screenplay on the author’s works of my former thesis.

I would like  to be one of the newest version of Lunt and Fontaine, Olivier and Leigh, Branagh and Thompson, please.

Could I get away with being a total bohemian nutter, and people will still love me viciously?

…Also, please can I marry Willoughby?

I would really  appreciate working with Streep, and Pacino, and Hoffman, and Winslet,  whilst have them love me so much, they consider me family.

Can I own the magic English skin that never wrinkles or ages, and the lithe figure to go with it?

Please, dear God, make me funny some day.  (I know my limits, but a 100th of a percentage of Dame Thompson will due me.)

…Also, WHY ain’t she a Dame yet…it’s really bothering me….

Smart-sexy.  It’s a thing. I watch it and want to own it. Willing to work hard: please help me to achieve.

A “Character Actor” of first degree: please grow me.

Smart choices. Smart dialogue. Smart wit. Smart woman. I beg this degree.

A double header, double feature is all it takes to remind me…how astronomically essential a hard worker is. And how (more  than anything) I wanna be “that guy.”

…Who, in this case…

…Happens to be…

An Emma Thompson.

I  thank you.

Sincerely,

Me.

Marty Times, Beautiful Creatures & High-Five Monkeys

26 May

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Nature walks, and College talks, and Marty hang time wherein the English Nutter (Emma Thompson for the new readers), Jeremy Irons and Viola Davis go all WTF awesome on a teen-movie that totally kick “Twilight’s” ass. (Aka: “Beautiful Creatures.”) 

…We delighted much, and gabbed at the screen and took turns wanting to be English, so we could grow up and become these beautiful people who act better, even as Americans, than Americans do.

They so very clearly had way too much fun.

…Also: many killer costumes. 

As guilty pleasures go: a total hands-down win.

Then we moved onto some BBC “Richard II,” followed by Nick Swardson in “Seriously Who Farted?” (Naturally.)

…Totally laughed, and at times, to the point of pain.

…Which is always good, plus saves on ab work outs later.

This was the part that killed me with most though.

…For me, it’s all about the dance.
 
~D

Vino, Theatre, Jane Austen &The English Nutter

5 Oct

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Tonight is girl’s-night!!

…To sip on some hoity-toity grape juice, pop in “Sense and Sensibility” and push play on the audio commentary wherein Emma Thompson will commence to teach us everything she knows, about everything she knows…in a totally charming and hilarious manner.

As my favorite English Nutter, she has been doing this command performance for several years now, but it never gets old, or less funny.

…This entire night, btw, is under the pretense of Ma n’ “M” actually meeting. Like freaks of fate. Because then they can geek out all they want to about Hobbit feet and trolls vs. fairies kinda crap, and leave me the hell outta it. 

(As if we really need an excuse to show up in PJ’s and pseudo-sob over romantical period things.  But that’s my story, so I’m sticking to it.)

***

In Other News: I’m leaving work at 2:30 today.  I hit the office door this morning, straight out-the-gate with a solid declaration that this week was shit and I was leaving early today to help make up for it.  I got a blink and shrug from the Boss in response:

Boss: Ok.

Me: You know…it’s not fun rebelling when no one cares.

Boss: (Pretend melodrama, but not really selling it) Don’t go…! Don’t go…!

Me: You suck.

Boss: Want a coffee?

Me: I do.

Boss:  Be right back…

***

In Other Other News: After-rehearsal hang time is golden.  It’s not that I “forget” this, but it is constantly being reinforced how much I miss my peoples when I am not doing shows.  Not that I don’t see them anyway, but not in as large groups, and not with the night’s work to ruminate over and tease one another about. 

…I’m used to a big family, and it’s nice to be back around one again…flinging insults and sex jokes and drinking each other’s drinks when people get up to pee or have a smoke.  Family is important.  All the people in it…the “new” ones finding where they fit within the order of things, the “old” ones shifting here and there to accommodate, and everyone genuinely enjoying and respecting the work of one another so much, that we can afford to play at one another’s expense…take a hit on the chin that is made with a wink. Sometimes, a cast can be all-round magical…and this one is a hell of a team already…even with a month yet to go in rehearsals before the run begins.

…Its times like this that make me feel bad for the “normals” in the world…the ones who work their 9-5’s and get to bed at decent hours, don’t obsess about creative shit all the time, and still have their dignity. Poor bastards. They have NO IDEA the kind of life they are missing.

…But then, I’m preachin’ to the choir here. Obviously.

It must just suck to be them. Am I right?

~D

Three Truths

10 Sep

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Know that game where you ask a question requiring three answers, all in immediate first-gut-reaction?  You know…you play it when you’re drunk, or on a first date, or sitting in a car in hour seven of thirteen…on a road trip.

…Here are a few answers from a recent version, I will share with you.  Mostly because I promised not to write about the really good super secret conversation I had today…and also because even if it isn’t the one you WANT to be overhearing, at least there is some entertainment value attached to it.

…And also, that other conversation is all I can think about right now, so my brain is too full to ruminate on “other stuff,” then be expected to care about it and actually write it down.

So here are some “leftovers,” instead.

…But not the “egg burrito kind” that gets all rubbery and wrong. The “spaghetti kind” that still tastes good, even when you have to re-nuke it.

Ready?

1) Top 3 Movies Of All Time:
I like old ones best…but am really eclectic up to present day Indie and blow-up films…so I’d have to do it by genre.  Plus, I’m a giant BBC nerd…so there’s just no simple answer to that question.  It needs an evening and a bottle. If you saw my collection, you’d understand.  Movies and books are my crack cocaine.

2) Top 3 Places to Live In The World:
England – For every reason under the sun (even when it rains.)
Ireland – For vacationing and reflection.
Italy – For eats, sex and general splendor.

3) Top 3 Bucket List Roles:
Martha in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf,” – Because it’s eviscerating and sick in all the best ways possibly.
Blanche in “Streetcar Named Desire,” – Because everyone wants to play Blanche Dubois…yes, even you.
Regina in “The Little Foxes” – Evil Edwardian mother with infinite power at her disposal?  Um, yes please.
Jane Eyre in “Jane Eyre”- Because I get it, and she gets me.
Mrs. Danvers  in “Rebecca” – Because she’s one of the only villains in all of drama, who isn’t actually a villain, but is a villain.
(And no, I didn’t forget how to count, I broke the rules on purpose, and I get to…cuz it’s my fucking game.) 

4) Items You’d Have In A Zombie Apocalypse:
A boat – To get away.
A copy of Jane Eyre – To keep me company.
Stage Makeup – so I could pretend to be one of them as needed.

5) Actor’s Careers You’d Most Like To Have:
Kate Winslet –  And if I can’t have her career, can we at least bitch over a beer together at some point?
Emma Thompson – She’s funny as hell, Cambridge smart, writes deliciously well and is “real.”
Meryl Streep –  It goes: Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, and Meryl Streep in the cast of human freak-people who can accomplish anything.

6) Top 3 Non-Artistic Careers You Would Have:
Archaeologist (specifically Egyptology) – I hate dirt, but would get over it if I could please discover the next biggest thing since Tut’s tomb.
Spy (specifically Undercover Op) – But only if I have the moves, figure and tech toys of Jennifer Garner or James Bond, to go with it.
Diplomat – Mostly for the immunity and Cuban cigars I could buy.

7) 3 Meals/Foods You Would Eat Every Day:
Potatoes – The best food of all time.
Pasta with sauce – In all it’s infinite varieties.
Spinach salad – With every kind of veg but peas.

8) Songs That Mean A Lot To You, And Why:
Claire de Lune (Debussy) – Cuz it reminds me of Gram.
She (Elvis Costello) – To be that chick to someone…all the reasons are in the lyrics.
The Man That Got Away (Judy Garland) – Cuz it hurts so good.

9) Places In America To See Before You Die:
D.C. – Soak up all the museums and History.
N.Y. – Amazingly enough, still haven’t been there…and you can’t die before that happens, it’s just a rule, so I’m strategizing it out in order to prolong my life “in general.”
Boston – The Architecture and accent.

10) Favorite Sports:
Baseball – To watch.
Soccer – To play.
Hockey – To start a fight at.

***Bonus Question***

11) Most Important Achievements To Have Reached Fifty Years From Now:
Create at least one beautiful thing that will last beyond my lifetime.
Reach a point of making my living 100% via artistic means.
Have a wake so full of people I love, that they spill outta the pub into the street.

~D

Didja Know?

21 Aug

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Here’s a game, like when we were kids: I tell you ten things you don’t know about me, and you tell me ten things I don’t know about you.  Explanations are optional.

Ready?

Go!

1) I went like fifteen years without eating a PB&J. 
(It’s because I ate them every day for five solid years, cuz it was a thing I decided would be a good idea.  And then it wasn’t anymore.)

2) The longest relationship I ever had with the opposite sex was in middle-school.
(It was over the course of a year.  We broke up and got back together, once.  Then I dated someone else in seventh grade.  When that ended, it took me eighteen years before I got around to dating again.  For “real.” I’m not very good at it.  Obviously.)

3) One of my all-time heart’s-desires is to be able to burp on command.
(I have this friend who can belch the whole alphabet in one long, loud roar.  He tries to teach me how to do it, but I’m just lousy with burp-action.  I refuse to accept this, however, and continue to work at it.)

4) I feel bad about my feet.
(Feet are just generally not the greatest looking.  I mean, they serve a major function, so I guess they shouldn’t have to be all beautiful and things.  But mine are one of the funkier looking ones.  I have this little “hitch” thing in the big toe? And they’re really wide. Also, the middle toe is longer than all the rest. It’s just wrong. And I wish it wasn’t.)

5) I can’t take naps. 
(It just doesn’t happen.  Unless I’m totally and completely exhausted.  But then I’ll wake up in the worst mood of all time.  Everything will make me angry and irritated without any provocation whatsoever. “You want the blue one?! I want the blue one!” “I hate commercials! Change it back! I was watching that!”  “Star Trek is stupid! So lets fight about it!”)

6) I can’t pronounce the words “wolf,” “ostensibly” or “Wednesday” correctly.
(Wolf = woof…like a dog.  Deal with it. I had to.  OBstensibly gets an added “b”  – I don’t know why – but it just does. Every time.  And I am convinced that Emma Thompson is the only person in the world who can fit the “d” into Wednesday and make it all sound like it’s supposed to. Watch “Stranger than Fiction.”  She does it like eleven times in a row.  It’s mind-blowing.)

7) I hate sneezing.
(There are few things I actually hate more.  Cancer is one of them.  And germs in general.  But sneezing actually pisses me off irrationally.  To the courtesy “Bless you,” I nine times out of ten will reply with a resounding “Fuck!”  This is not meant to counteract the blessing by any means. I will take any that I can get.  I just hate the act of sneezing is all.  So there’s that.)

8) My job at the Brothel is not nearly as amusing as it’s made out to be.
(If you are confused by this, it is my fault.  And I’m sorry.  When actually in the moments of pure and utter mind-numbing frustration and rage that I am often forced into, the last thing I wanna do is make light of the matter and laugh at it.  Which is why I  have to figure out a way to make light of the matter and laugh at it.  If I didn’t?  I’d prob’ly be in jail on charges of manslaughter by now.)

9) I am afraid of sunflowers.
(Actually “afraid,” of them. Yes.  They are this wrong kind of Jurassic monster flower that looks down on you like a tree.  I don’t like it.  It makes me feel the world proportional gauge thing is all outta wack. I mean, what next? Teradactyl sized horseflies and dog-hamsters?!)

10) I have to make my bed every morning.
(Even if I’m running super late.  Even if I’m puking-sick.  Even if I’ve been up for 53 hours straight.  Or the building was on fire.  If I don’t make my bed, I wouldn’t feel right for the rest of the whole day. And then when I went to bed  that night, it’d be all mayhem blanket clumping and sheets all over the place.  Not acceptable, you guys.)

…Now its your turn.

~D

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