Tag Archives: die hard

Yippie Ki-Yay Mother F&$*%#

22 Jul

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Tonight: Marty times with Bruce the horse-dog, Die Hard, every kind of chip and dip known to mankind, and the Black Eyed Peas.  Mostly, this:

Coincidentally, I feel uber badass right now.

…Almost as badass as Bruce Willis.  But not quite.  No one is.  Even at age a hundred-and-something (in non-Hollywood years, also known as “close to 60”) in Red 2, I’d totally hit that.

He’s BRUCE-FREAKIN’-WILLIS!

Who WOULDN’T wanna ride that ride?

(Shut up boys, you so do too.  He’s on your top five “free-bee” list, we already know it…cuz he’s on EVERYONES.)

…It only really gets awkward when Alan Rickman joins him on screen.  Cuz then it turns into a kind of sexual potato chip war: You can’t have just ONE.  Good God, there’s far too much deliciousness hanging around for that kind of nonsense.  Have ALL the chips!  In all their suited-up, sweat-drenched, faux German accented, bleeding feet, bouncy eighty’s hair best!  Have it ALL!

…And then bust out to the Spike Mix, all the way home.

THIS is the way to kill a Monday, friends.  In a skyscraper, in LA, on Christmas…Beethoven’s Ode de Joy mix-taping with hip hop in strange perfect harmony.  Like Rickman and Willis will be, forever and ever, amen.

~D

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