Tag Archives: conversations

Epic Talk Times

7 Oct

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One of the greatest parts of making a new close friend is catching up on the intimate details of life, I think.  The things you don’t share with just everyone.  The “naked” stuff, with all the real uglinesses that say, “This is the ‘real’ me, for better or worse, and I’m totally trusting right now that you will be honorable with the knowledge I am about to impart on you.”

I am not a very trusting person, so friendships like this are few and far between.

…But “M” has graduated to this status on more than one occasion, and it is nice to have those people to check in with in essential life, “come to Jesus” moments, to say, “Am I totally wacked here, or do you see this thing too?”

…”M” is all over that shit.  And it’s comforting to have a person, live before me, to be like, “Listen up, things are happening right now that frankly scare the shit out of me, and what do you think about it?”  Also, “You know the history and the personal quirks and where I’m coming from, so am I totally outta line here, or is this normal shit that will take care of itself?”

…Sometimes I’m just terrible with “perspective,” and need a dude-chick without overt emotion to say, “yes, you are totally outta control,” or “no, you are doing exactly what you should.”  I’m fiercely independent, all, but when it comes to certain aspects of life, I become more backward than a teenage boy.  And that is the truth.

…But what is another truth is that “friends” were put on this earth, to save you.  From others AND yourself, in equal measure.  If you are smart, you will listen to their counsel, because they are aware of more  things than you think, just by watching and listening, when you don’t.  They are the true holders of the “truth,’ will (hopefully) call you on your own bullshit, and recommend you in high favor when the time is ripe.  Because it is what friends do.

Also, they will build even further trust by being a comfort and lending a laugh and insisting that you aren’t NEARLY as fucked up as you have every right to be, and ANYONE would be lucky to be stuck with all your weird quirks for life.

…It’s a special level of truth and lying to you…which isn’t really lying, because they really believe it (for some odd reason), which makes them totally endearing humans, when (by and large) you could do very easily without the entire race, if given the option right now.

What I’m saying is: I had another hugely helpful talk, with a person in the know about all the ism’s that make up a “me.” And I feel a lot better now.  And that’s a good thing.  And I’m lucky.

…That’s all.

~D

Short, Sweet & Simple

24 Sep

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Nooooot a great day, you guys.  But it ended well.

…A walk to separate the “work” day, from the “life” part.

…Rehearsal, to side-track and refocus a little “purpose” and “joy.”

…And a two hour conversation with a new “old” friend.

It’s funny what happens when you try to condense and catch up ten years of time in one conversation. Almost impossible.  You end up laughing lots.  And getting suddenly very real about things.  More “real” than the more conservative you, is usually comfortable with.  But for some reason, in this case, it’s okay.

…Which is really nice, from where I sit right now.  If I’m telling the truth.

Sometimes it is exhausting to be so protective and conniving.  Today is one of those days. So, possibly, they planned the call really, really well…and it was fate.  Or I’ll never hear from them again. It might be a toss up. I dunno.  But for two hours, we managed to air some grievances, and voice some frustrations, and laugh at some jokes…and there are worse things that people who haven’t spoken in a decade could do.

I think.

…I’m still pretty new at this.

Anyway…a short post.  Lots of ellipses.  It’s been one of those days, But, most of my daily writing therapy went into an actual “person” today…no need to burden it all on you, now.

Suffice it to say…I think I’ll break the 3-day anti-sleeping record tonight, and dream of better things.  Or at least funnier ones. 

…And Mrs. Johnson will behave herself…because the two glasses of wine I just consumed, pretty much require it.

…And I might feel a little squirrely and happy in “possibility” ways…like a ridiculous teenager.  Which I’m gonna say is totally fine, and also, “good for me!”

Good for me!

…And it is.

…Because I am entirely too predictable as a human being.  Even The BFF says so.  So, here I am, mixing shit up and being TOTALLY random! God, she would be so proud of me right now!

Yep.

Yep.

…Yep.

That’s all I’ve got to offer tonight. 

Short.

Sweet.

Simple.

…Sweet.

Huh.  Now there’s a change.

🙂

~D

Conversations In A Day

11 Sep

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The Cuz has arrived, and thus begins Vacation Part Two:

(First crack of morning.)

Puff: (On the phone.) Where you at?
Me: (In bed.) Huh?
Puff: I’m here!
Me: Wuh?
Puff: I’ve landed.
Me: (Bolting upright.) OH HOLY SHIT-FUCK!  It was 9:45 A.M.?!?!
Puff: Uh. Yeah.
Me: I AM THE WORST!  I thought it was 9:45 P.M..
Puff: Nope.
Me: I will TOTALLY be there in 20 minutes…I SWEAR!

***

Me: (With a toothbrush in mouth while making bed) Oh God! I screwed it all up!
Ma: (On phone, possibly still sleeping.) Hello?
Me: He’s HERE! He’s here already!
Ma: Who is this…?
Me: —I’m twelve hours behind, and I haven’t even gotten up yet hardly.
Ma: What’s happening?
Me: –I even asked him like yesterday to confirm. 9:45 he said. 9:45. Cuz like an idiot I kept thinking it was night and all.
Ma: Is this a wrong number?
Me: MOM! IT’S ME! PUFF IS HERE! I NEED YOU TO FOCUS FOR A SECOND!
(A gaging, choking sound.)
Me: I almost died just then. Fucking toothbrush…
Ma: Puff is HERE, did you say?
Me: YES! YES!
Ma: Well, GO GET HIM! What are you talking to me for?!
Me: I just freaked out, is all. I’m going! I have to–I’m going…!

***

(In car.)

Me: (via text.) OMG, I am the worst ever!! Let the ridiculous “me” stories begin. I am totally on the road right now, yelling at this old lady driving a boat, going negative ten miles an hour in front of me. My road rage is unparalleled with moroseness for not only making a 12 hour difference fuck up, but also being mean to a woman who already lived through eight wars and is prob’ly using a booster seat just to see over the steering wheel…
Puff: …No stress, I’m having some breakfast.
Me: …So you have stories to share already. Awesome. This will never be boring, Puff.
(Picture of breakfast arrives with a ding.)
Me: Hella. P.S. I need coffee like woa. And I look like I just rolled outta bed. Cuz I totally did. If you wanna pretend you don’t know me, I can hire a hot dude to meet you at the terminal and bring you to me. It won’t hurt my feelings.
Puff: … I’m at the Alaska arrivals area. Sitting on a bench.
Me: Grabbing parking now.
Puff: Where do I need to be?
Me: Wait. What airline?
Puff: A-las-ka. I’m right outside on the lower level…

***

(Still in car, calling on the phone.)

Me: So…I’m in the garage now.
Puff: Do I need to be in the garage?
Me: No, I’ll come to you. Only I’m…I’m looping here…
Puff: Huh?
Me: Looping. I’m looping to get out. Then I need to circle around.
Puff: What are you driving?
Me: A PT Cruiser.
(I take the totally wrong lane and end up in “departures.”)
Me: (Totally lying.) Um. I’m in a holding pattern. Almost there.
Puff: Heheh. “Pattern is full, Ghost Rider…”

***

(After another go-round on the terminal attack, and seeing him on the curb.)

Me: Dude. I’m an asshole, and I’m totally sorry.
Puff: It’s all good, cuz.
Me: Also, you know all those things that you wait to do until the day people come, when you are on vacation and just let shit go?
Puff: (silence.)
Me: …Like cleaning your car, doing dishes, dying your hair, sweeping the house, spraying toxic chemicals all over the bathroom and giving your fish a bath? Yeah. None of that was done. So I guess it’s good you’re family.
Puff: Yeah.
Me: I mean, I still need to get my nails “did” for shits sake.
Puff: I’ll go too! I need a pedi anyway.
Me: See. This is why I love you.

***

(On a short walk to coffee shop.)

Me:…And this is our park. And this is our gas station. And that is where The BFF lives. And this is our homeless man. And that is our Yuppie market…
Puff: –When do I get to meet her?
Me: Who?
Puff: The BFF.
Me: She gets off at five-ish, so maybe Tuesday? I dunno. But it’s happening for sure. You’ll love her. She’s like me. Only not at all. And way more fierce.
Puff: I know. I read your blogs.

***

(In Tacoma Boys.)

Puff: Psst…
Me: (In another world smelling a grape.)
Puff: Psssst. Pssst.
Me: (Wondering which onion is the “good” one.)
Puff: Hey!
Me: Huh?
Puff: (Whispering.) The “ginger.” Two o’clock.
(I look. I wrinkle my nose and shake my head.)
Puff: Not for YOU, for ME. (Idiot.)
Me: Ohhh. Really?
Puff: And he’s here with his gramma. Bonus points.
Me: “The good grandson.”
Puff: ‘Xactly.
Me: A “ginger.”
Puff: Definitely.
Me: Huh.

***

(Gigantic crash at base of stairs.)

Me: Sunofabiscutcruncher!!!!
Puff: (From the kitchen.) Are you dead?
Me: The damn paper bag broke. I just shattered an entire bottle of red.
Puff: (Now from landing.) Where?
(I move aside and show the kinda blood spill that only makes it on C.S.I.)
Puff: Oops. Want help?
Me: No. I’ll just lick it up. Its fine.
(Beat.)
Puff: You’re kidding. Right?
(Beat.)
Me: Sure. Okay. I’ll go get some paper towels. Be right back.

***

Puff: (From sink.) Um…
Me: Are you washing the bananas?
Puff: Wine spill. And you might wanna watch for glass splinters. I got one.
(He shows his finger, which is leaking the identical color of red as the wine bottle did.)
Me: That is exactly the same color as the wine.
Puff: Yeah.
Me: …Maybe we should toss the bananas.

***

The BFF: (On phone.) You called?
Me: Yeah. Come meet Puff and help cook Fajitas.
The BFF: I’m…(I accidentally blank out and have no idea what she says right here. I think I was putting junk away in the crisper.) …and then I will, at around 9:30. Okay?
Me: That’s P.M., right?
The BFF: Yes.
Me: …Just making sure.
The BFF: I’ll buzz you.

***

(While watching “Snow White and the Huntsman,” both basically ignoring it as we are on our computers separately…he to FB, me to blog.)

Puff: She. Never. Closes. Her. Mouth.
Me: My god. It’s all I’ve been thinking

~D

Three Truths

10 Sep

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Know that game where you ask a question requiring three answers, all in immediate first-gut-reaction?  You know…you play it when you’re drunk, or on a first date, or sitting in a car in hour seven of thirteen…on a road trip.

…Here are a few answers from a recent version, I will share with you.  Mostly because I promised not to write about the really good super secret conversation I had today…and also because even if it isn’t the one you WANT to be overhearing, at least there is some entertainment value attached to it.

…And also, that other conversation is all I can think about right now, so my brain is too full to ruminate on “other stuff,” then be expected to care about it and actually write it down.

So here are some “leftovers,” instead.

…But not the “egg burrito kind” that gets all rubbery and wrong. The “spaghetti kind” that still tastes good, even when you have to re-nuke it.

Ready?

1) Top 3 Movies Of All Time:
I like old ones best…but am really eclectic up to present day Indie and blow-up films…so I’d have to do it by genre.  Plus, I’m a giant BBC nerd…so there’s just no simple answer to that question.  It needs an evening and a bottle. If you saw my collection, you’d understand.  Movies and books are my crack cocaine.

2) Top 3 Places to Live In The World:
England – For every reason under the sun (even when it rains.)
Ireland – For vacationing and reflection.
Italy – For eats, sex and general splendor.

3) Top 3 Bucket List Roles:
Martha in “Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf,” – Because it’s eviscerating and sick in all the best ways possibly.
Blanche in “Streetcar Named Desire,” – Because everyone wants to play Blanche Dubois…yes, even you.
Regina in “The Little Foxes” – Evil Edwardian mother with infinite power at her disposal?  Um, yes please.
Jane Eyre in “Jane Eyre”- Because I get it, and she gets me.
Mrs. Danvers  in “Rebecca” – Because she’s one of the only villains in all of drama, who isn’t actually a villain, but is a villain.
(And no, I didn’t forget how to count, I broke the rules on purpose, and I get to…cuz it’s my fucking game.) 

4) Items You’d Have In A Zombie Apocalypse:
A boat – To get away.
A copy of Jane Eyre – To keep me company.
Stage Makeup – so I could pretend to be one of them as needed.

5) Actor’s Careers You’d Most Like To Have:
Kate Winslet –  And if I can’t have her career, can we at least bitch over a beer together at some point?
Emma Thompson – She’s funny as hell, Cambridge smart, writes deliciously well and is “real.”
Meryl Streep –  It goes: Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Albert Einstein, and Meryl Streep in the cast of human freak-people who can accomplish anything.

6) Top 3 Non-Artistic Careers You Would Have:
Archaeologist (specifically Egyptology) – I hate dirt, but would get over it if I could please discover the next biggest thing since Tut’s tomb.
Spy (specifically Undercover Op) – But only if I have the moves, figure and tech toys of Jennifer Garner or James Bond, to go with it.
Diplomat – Mostly for the immunity and Cuban cigars I could buy.

7) 3 Meals/Foods You Would Eat Every Day:
Potatoes – The best food of all time.
Pasta with sauce – In all it’s infinite varieties.
Spinach salad – With every kind of veg but peas.

8) Songs That Mean A Lot To You, And Why:
Claire de Lune (Debussy) – Cuz it reminds me of Gram.
She (Elvis Costello) – To be that chick to someone…all the reasons are in the lyrics.
The Man That Got Away (Judy Garland) – Cuz it hurts so good.

9) Places In America To See Before You Die:
D.C. – Soak up all the museums and History.
N.Y. – Amazingly enough, still haven’t been there…and you can’t die before that happens, it’s just a rule, so I’m strategizing it out in order to prolong my life “in general.”
Boston – The Architecture and accent.

10) Favorite Sports:
Baseball – To watch.
Soccer – To play.
Hockey – To start a fight at.

***Bonus Question***

11) Most Important Achievements To Have Reached Fifty Years From Now:
Create at least one beautiful thing that will last beyond my lifetime.
Reach a point of making my living 100% via artistic means.
Have a wake so full of people I love, that they spill outta the pub into the street.

~D

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