Tag Archives: bloating

He Can Benedict My Cumberbatch Any Day…

17 Jun


First: Ted & Allen & Stacy & Jim say “Hi.” 

…They’ve been bugging me to tell you for days now, and are monitoring my blog at this point. As they have threatened to procreate new spawn if I neglect to tell you “hello” this time, (and as they appear to be now major fixtures in my life), I thought keeping the peace would be the smarter way to go, on this.

…Also, a postcard just came in the mail today from Mrs. Johnson.

…Seems she’s taken a spur-of-the-moment puddle jumper to the islands for a quickie.  Cuz she’s a flipping harlot. Yet, for some reason, she felt inclined to send all her luggage ahead.  It is now being stored primarily in my belly, like a rising loaf of yeast bread, filling more and more pant space every day.

Super awesome, really.

Meanwhile, for m’first night off since Tech week, I started back up with my walks and wars with the Big Pink Ball.  Twenty minutes of Pilates and a six-mile trek was rewarded by a 3D date with my lover: Benedict Cumberbatch.  Star Trek.  Was super.  He was super-er. 

…That voice and his ridiculous elegance of stature (and general yumminess) makes me want to very bad things, very well…if you get what I mean. 

…Because I am always so subtle that I often doubt that you do.

(I mean: sex.)

…And in other “meanwhiles,” I have about a week’s worth of blog subscriptions I haven’t read, so am going to go now and do that.

…Because supporting the Arts is important!

…And so is stalking.


Ted & Allen & Stacy & Jim

15 Jun


No, this is not a Christopher Durang sequel.

…It’s just the names of all four of the brilliantly swollen zits currently gracing my facial region.

There is no amount of cover-up that can mask them.  Even from stage.  I look like I have wart growths all over my damn face.

Not cool.

This Mrs. Johnson visit is gonna be fierce. 

(Whenever the hell she finally stops sending “gifts” like these ahead, and shows up her own damn self.) 

…Meanwhile, her water-weight began as well today, so I should be good and bloated by tomorrow’s show. This is so much better than being bloated on Opening night, that I totally don’t even care.  This time, she gets a “free-bee.”

…Also, maybe some chocolate, before I start back up on the Pilates regime.  Thought I’d give myself the weekend off.  Am pretty wrecked bodily as it is, no need to press it beyond it’s sensible threshold.

…And I’ve literally nodded off twice just “resting my eyes” between lines of writing tonight’s blog.  Which tells me, I need to be done and go finish sleeping. I’m still behind about two days worth of “Z’s,” easily.


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