Tag Archives: bad day

33 Contracts & Active K.O.ing

22 Jan


Spent the morning busily paperworking…which is an excellent thing to keep your brain occupied…not as free to go gallivanting across the countryside looking for more things to worry about.

…A ream of paper, and 33 contracts later, (after two Corporate Reports, and booking calls, and schedule updates, and reminders sent out), I am ready to face the world again for about ten or fifteen minutes before launching into the next thing.

So here we are: at posting time.

First thing that immediately grabs my attention is that I still have a residual life-hangover left over from yesterday. Which frankly surprises me.  This is different from an “actual” hangover only in the way that your entire body aches and you have to firmly fight the sensation to burst into tears all of a sudden…though you managed to never once have even the slightest inclination to yesterday, while in the midst of all the shit-storm.

…Which I suppose means I “won” somehow.

I dunno.

But either way, I feel the hits those punches made. All over m’damn body, today.

Leaning back in my swivel chair, hands rubbing at the rock mountains that are my neck and shoulders, I can’t help but think how amazing it is…the amount of physical exhaustion, that ’emotional havoc’ can be on a body.


And “tense.”

…It ain’t over yet. It’s only begun.  But it isn’t my fault, nor am I one of the starring players involved.  That means that, even in the thick of it, I can still sorta retreat a bit. 

As Marty says, “only two more sleeps” till we all getta meet up and play again…taking the prime opportunity to air and redirect some of this life-shit into a more positive, creative outlet.

…Meanwhile…I’m regretting all those days in childhood where nap times were cavalierly thrown about, without the realization of how awesome they were, and how much I would one day wish for almost nothing more in my whole life than four quiet hours with my head on a pillow by 1:30 p.m..


…What do they know?

A little over two hours left to go.

Harriet will be done by four tonight…I made sure of it.

…Part of yesterday’s grand eventness was bringing down the law on the Manager of the shop where she currently resides…mid-week THREE of her stay, when she was promised to be done two weeks ago. As I’d been too busy opening and running shows here and there since, Ma had been the only mode of contact he’d had in that time…until yesterday.

…He outweighed me by two bodies, and looked like something out of a prison movie with all those tats, and a monster Harley Biker beard, so I could see he was rather surprised at my stance and the words immediately coming out of my face toward him, the second he walked in the door.

Me: “You Joe?”

Joe: “Yeah.”

Me: “That’s my PT. Cruiser on the block right there.”

Joe: “Okay.”

Me: “You have $3000 of my money. It was supposed to be done two weeks ago. Both cars in the family are sitting here in your shop, with their guts out, and we are on our second contract for another rental cuz you promised twice that the jobs would be done. I’ll be here after work tomorrow at 4 p.m. My car will be fixed, off that block, and with an extended Warranty — not some two-month nonsense like the last time you DIDN’T fix it — for my trouble.”

Joe: “For parts or–”

Me: “–Top-to-toe, Joe. That means it hiccups in the cold or shutters at a stoplight and YOU fix it. Free. Got it. I’m done now. Have it ready by tomorrow. That’s all.”

…I was already halfway through my day-of-shit by that point, so there was very little in the way of womanly grace remaining by that point. And he could see that, and wisely kept his damn mouth shut.

…So much could not be said for all the assholes I had to deal with yesterday…but I suppose when you are put into multiple fight scenarios — like those good ol’ Mortal Kombat days — you can’t expect to combo-K.O. it out every damn time. Pert near did though. And I never once lost my cool while doing it. Which is so much more aggravating in an opponent, I find.

I shall not be dissuaded.

…Yesterday was apparently the one where you pay five times over the price for a “vacation day.”

…Where by the half-way point, you realize you should have just sucked it up, gone into work, and dealt with the exhaustion and incessant phone rings and paperwork mess.

But you didn’t.

…And nothing comes for “free.”

…Silly me and my assumptions.



21 Jan


For the first time in 6 months, I missed a blog post.

…Have done them while sick, while exhausted, while eating, while riding in a car, while in parking lots, while backstage during a performance, while at work, while out with friends, and to the detriment of sleep. Frequently. But I missed doing one yesterday.

…THAT’S how shitty the day was.

…And I’ll not bore you with the details outside of the blanket statement that: things can always get worse. Especially when you start to get proud about how you’ve handled yourself in the crap circumstances before this.

It’s a lesson no one has to teach you.

I’m sure you are already aware of it.

So now I’m backdating this fucker to yesterday…because I FEEL LIKE IT.

…And I’m going to work.


Short, Sweet & Simple

24 Sep


Nooooot a great day, you guys.  But it ended well.

…A walk to separate the “work” day, from the “life” part.

…Rehearsal, to side-track and refocus a little “purpose” and “joy.”

…And a two hour conversation with a new “old” friend.

It’s funny what happens when you try to condense and catch up ten years of time in one conversation. Almost impossible.  You end up laughing lots.  And getting suddenly very real about things.  More “real” than the more conservative you, is usually comfortable with.  But for some reason, in this case, it’s okay.

…Which is really nice, from where I sit right now.  If I’m telling the truth.

Sometimes it is exhausting to be so protective and conniving.  Today is one of those days. So, possibly, they planned the call really, really well…and it was fate.  Or I’ll never hear from them again. It might be a toss up. I dunno.  But for two hours, we managed to air some grievances, and voice some frustrations, and laugh at some jokes…and there are worse things that people who haven’t spoken in a decade could do.

I think.

…I’m still pretty new at this.

Anyway…a short post.  Lots of ellipses.  It’s been one of those days, But, most of my daily writing therapy went into an actual “person” today…no need to burden it all on you, now.

Suffice it to say…I think I’ll break the 3-day anti-sleeping record tonight, and dream of better things.  Or at least funnier ones. 

…And Mrs. Johnson will behave herself…because the two glasses of wine I just consumed, pretty much require it.

…And I might feel a little squirrely and happy in “possibility” ways…like a ridiculous teenager.  Which I’m gonna say is totally fine, and also, “good for me!”

Good for me!

…And it is.

…Because I am entirely too predictable as a human being.  Even The BFF says so.  So, here I am, mixing shit up and being TOTALLY random! God, she would be so proud of me right now!




That’s all I’ve got to offer tonight. 





Huh.  Now there’s a change.



Gamer Rage

31 Aug


It’s been a really long time since I did the “gamer” thing.  Back in the days of the old arcade Street Fighter and Nintendo…I was a winner…but now with all the 360 degree viewpoint and movement ability…getting me just to stay upright and not walk into walls is damn near impossible.  I’ve been away too long.  My brain isn’t equipped for that level of “awesome.”

…The BFF’s Fella knows this, however, and decided to go searching for something I could relate to.  And he found it. 

Wednesday night, for like two hours as The BFF made a chocolate souffle, The Fella and I beat the living crap out of each other…before finally devising a tag-team scenario in order to kill all the main Bosses and win the game. 

The strategy went like this: PUSH THE FUCKING BUTTONS AS HARD AS YOU CAN WHILE SCREAMING OBSCENITIES AT THE SCREEN LIKE A TOURETTES VICTIM.  Then, after you die, pass it to the other guy who will do much the same.  Until you win.  The end.

…I admit, it wasn’t the most elegantly plotted out plan of attack but we did what we could. And I learned some stuff while I was at it.

1) I should never own a game consul. They are too much fun.

2) Threatening your opponent and flinging an escalation of insults at them in psychological warfare, does in fact pay off.

3) Souffles don’t like yelling.

4) It is possible to hate a programmed Avatar more than Satan, and feel it’s perfectly reasonable to do so.

5) No one has actually ever won all the Bosses before, they just tell you they do. It’s a totally impossible feat and everyone knows it. Until you manage it. Then it’s absolutely real.

…Ultimately, video games are like a slip-stream of “uh-oh” for any person who has ever had any “anger management issues.” The frustration levels can get totally off the charts. At almost any moment you can be seen screaming at the television, pitching controllers across the room, and insisting that, “this sunofabitch is goin’ down!” Sure, you can “try” to add a bit of Patton-like reasoning to the plan of attack at first. You can set a course, and learn all the combos and pre-plan the journey. But eventually that all falls away to reveal a ten year old kid, hopped up on adrenalin, whose recently learned how to string all the cuss words they know into one long sentence.

…Like when Ralphy finally flips his shit in “A Christmas Story.”

“Rassuh-fraggin-frasta-massuh-fragga!” The ten year old “you” will say. (Only, not the PG version.)

…The moments are terrifying with intensity, sweat starts pourin’…and you become a virtual machine of gamer rage. It totally consumes you in no time at all. But, if you are savvy enough to take side view of it all, (once the night has ended), the entire thing makes total complete sense.

Just take a second and think about your day, for instance.

…That jerk upstairs who flashes you every morning with cold water because of how they time their shower, right in the middle of yours. The one asshole customer that nothing could appease, the fact the office is out of coffee again, the container loads are late, you banged your funny bone and the traffic home was total crap. Think about that wad of bills you just lifted from the mailbox, and the fact that your trash can is full but you’ve just remembered you’re all outta bags. And maybe you’ve gained a pound or two on total accident. Let all that junk swim around you in a hazy kind of cloud, that you can’t fight no matter how much you try, because it has no corporal form.

…Now lets pretend the power is suddenly granted you to assign all that irritation and anger toward something else. Something whose entire existence is in order to allow you to reclaim even one piece of your dignity back again. Something that’ll satisfy that craving to, “make the bastards pay!”…but with significantly less jail time.

…Go ahead. Put a controller in your hand. Push that little switch. Go through the next fifteen minutes of annoying selection and customization programming (I miss the days of just “off” and “on.”) Then open a Coke, turn down the volume, and pop on a super mix of kick-your-ass power tunes instead. Like this. Then GO AT IT! I DEFY you not to glory in the world of paybacks with zero consequence! You have EARNED this today!

Show all those bastards who is BOSS!

…Kill everything! And send those Alien’s packin’!

You are a WINNER!

A WINNER, I tell you!

…NO ONE is gooder than you! You just proved it! To God and everyone!

And just like that, it’s a beautiful world again.


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