Caught, With Nothin’ But The Towel

22 May

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So this has never ever happened before in the history of me:

Am minding my own business at work today, when from out of absolutely nowhere (and I do mean “nowhere”), Mrs. Johnson shows up with her usual bag of luggage, for her usual extended stay.

…Problem is, she was like six days early.

SIX.

…And she is NEVER early. 

She’s never BEEN early. 

In fact, she has a widely known reputation for being late more often than even on time.

At all.

…But what is even MORE curious is that “stealth” has never been her major talent.  In fact, she blows at it.  She sorta travels with a full fucking brass band, (if you get my drift)…so pretty much everyone around has more than a general idea that she is about to show up in town.

One can frankly hear her coming from Duluth.

…And yet: there I was.  For the first time EVER: caught totally by surprise.

Of course, being a woman, I’m never TOTALLY without the necessities of life.  Not the essential ones, anyway…

…That it, until I realized that this early visit of was NOT going to be ushered in without the usual pain and agony, as well. Only, “delayed.”

…And I didn’t have any of the drugs that I needed…

…Although, a Migraine Advil was this close to being shot back anyway…

…Cuz even undercover, Mrs. Johnson is a gigantic pain.

Literally.

…But emergency pills were obtained in time.

…And I took them.

…And now I’m trying to coax some appetite out with the old Jewish custom of mac-n-cheese and cheeto-puffs. 

(That is not really a Jewish custom, only it seems to work most of the time when nothing, but nothing, sounds good, and I just wanna roll into a ball and complain a lot.)

I don’t really have time for that right now.

…We have the final scene of the show to block tonight.

…Well, maybe just a “little” ball-rolling.

The annotated version.

(Which I am usually adamantly against.  In book form.  But in dealings with “pain,” I’m all for it.)

So I’ll go do a little of that now, then.

And afterwards: try and eat something so I don’t pass out.

Right!

Where’s my pillow?!

(stomp! stomp! stomp!)

~D

3 Responses to “Caught, With Nothin’ But The Towel”

  1. prewitt1970 May 22, 2013 at 9:24 pm #

    😦 okay deep breath, more Advil , Mac and cheese, rinse and repeat. Stay away from the schmaltz and matzoh 😉 little bit of vodka and dr.browns cream soda should make ya right as rain.
    B.

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