Post- Op “Oh.”

13 Apr

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This show has been an odd little animal from the beginning, but even more so when Opening night arrived, feeling all the world like your average Preview, and then, that completed, has already settled into what feels well into the run.

…By tomorrow, we will live where half-way through to the average production does.

…Explanations?

We have a short three week performance schedule. Which, to the show-brain means our Opening week , once complete tomorrow, would put us half done for the average run-of-show contract.  That is: two weeks from tomorrow, this show will close, and I’ve still not quite wrapped my brain ’round the fact that it’s actually open already to begin with.

This happens with busy-business shows. 

…I concentrate so hard on the specific details necessitated to get from point-A to point-Z, that before I know it, people are laughing and murmuring in the audience in response to things I’m doing, while I fixate on the fact that the next quick change will go much smoother if I do my shirt buttons first, then skirt, then shoes, and pre-set my handkerchief, mirror and unzip my nighty, for the scene following that.

Basically, I have little time to enjoy the moment of performance, because I’m spending so much time on the technicalities in order to achieve the performance, I don’t really have time to enjoy that I’m doing.

…A bit of a catch-22.  I know.

…But I tried tonight, to be more moment-aware.  This doesn’t mean I’ve been “clocking out” by any means.  I’m “in” it, I just don’t have the luxury to let go and swim in the realization of it. 

I have too many things to do, coming up. 

…There are a few touchtone moments that I do look forward to every night though…allowed in the span of breath to enjoy for it’s own sake.  And this keeps me eager, energized and going.  Like a mini battery charge of “yay.”

…Am imminently thankful for the role I was given: the provider of laughter, the outrageous flirt, the fireball of fury.  Though I may not get to pickle my fingers and toes in the satisfied waters of realization at every second, I DO appreciate the hell out of her range and realness in retrospect, after a long night of hard work has been completed.  And I have a feeling the run, in total, will be something like that for me. 

…A show I look back on, say two weeks after it’s closed…really able to see it from all angles and appreciate it’s every curve and detail. 

…When I have time to dedicate to that, versus the busy, bustling, current action of actually achieving it.

~D

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