Greetings, From An Asshole

10 Apr

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There is no amount of coffee that can fix the evils of this day and lack of sleep coming into it.

From the get-go, I have been a complete asshole to everyone, non customer-related.

…It just pours out of me like toxic sludge.  I can see it and hear it, but my ability to sensor it is completely shot.

…So I just sit here, tossing papers around, researching Boss cock-ups, dealing with Customer fires, screaming at the contractor bunnies, constantly resetting frozen computers and living under this eternal black cloud of frustration which seems to be permanently stuck to me…following me around from printer, to lobby, to warehouse and back again…like a super bitchy Eeyore.

…Even the WHS Pimp has cleared out.

…I think I can vaguely recall him saying he needed to do a stock run anyway, but I’m sure I helped the ASAP need of it.  At 10 in the morning.  On a Wednesday. While it was pissing down rain at the time.

…And yet he STILL stopped long enough to perk a thing of coffee before he left, and poke his head in my office to announce that caffeine would be coming to my rescue in T-minus 5 minutes.

…Because he is a better person than me.

Obviously.

Oh God. 

…How in the hell am I gonna make it through the rest of this day, and then the traffic, and shoving food down my face in five minutes, and then more traffic, and then show prep, and then fight call, bows blocking…never mind the actual performance??

I’m three mugs of coffee in.

…I don’t even think it’s helping.

…Maybe I’ll take five minutes, silence the phones, and have a good cry in the bathroom. 

Sometimes that helps.

Have OD’d on too many things at once, and not enough of others.

Let this be a warning to all of  you.

…And also, to everyone I talk to today: I’m sorry.  Ahead of time.

…Unless you are a dickhead. 

…In which case: I meant every word I said.

~D

2 Responses to “Greetings, From An Asshole”

  1. somewheretoelsewhere April 10, 2013 at 11:27 am #

    I have a bottle of champagne with your name on it for Friday. xo

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