Archive | 10:36 pm

…And Then Some Sea Monkeys

2 Jan


**Bonus Blog**

…Because Marty IM’d me to snap me outta the pits of despair and volatile anger.

…A less angry blip to leave you with:

Me: …Know what else? (Which has nothing at all to do with this topic?)

Marty: What? What?!

Me: Well, it’s not that exciting. Now it got all built up and things…

Marty:  Tell me!  I’m looking for pics for my blog.

Me: Oh good!  A new blog post!!!

Marty: So what else?

Me: I think my fish are depressed.  I want to get them a toy, but there’s no more room in their tanks for more stuff.  But this one time? At the pet store? I saw this giant moss ball? That floats?  And sometimes just sits there? But I guess it’s like a fun eaty/play thing for them? I dunno. I mean, if I were a fish I’d be like, “WTF?  You bought me a blob of green fur? Why not just throw in a tennis ball and be done with it?” But I guess it’s fun for them or something?  I dunno.  It was my first Christmas having pets, in a long time, and I forgot to get them something.  And I think they’re mad at me.”

Marty: That fuzz ball would be amazing!

Me: It’s alive. So my only worry is that it’ll murk up the water quicker, and I already have to change it once a week. Other than that ball, there’s really only shrimps for treats. And I really wanted Sea Monkeys (they’re on my Amazon wish list even), which you can raise and then feed them for treats, but then I thought, “What if I start to like them and things? I can’t just kill ’em. ‘Specially if I name ’em. Not each one, mind you, that would be insane. Just the group as a whole. Like, ‘The Bob.’ As in, ‘That’s Niles. That’s Daphne. That’s ‘The Bob.'”

Marty: Oh, feedin’ them Sea Monkeys would be so much fun!

Me: Then they could exercise that little killer instinct that they have…and hunt them and things…my family would be so proud. Raising good little Republicans… I’ll do that. Sea Monkeys. Yeah.

Marty: Yes. That is the best way to embrace that inner Republican.

Me: Yes. It has nothing to do with my uterus.

**End Scene**

…Thanks for the pick-me-up, Mart.




2 Jan


They say, “If you can’t say nuthin’ nice, don’t say anything at all.”


That was me, being “nice.”


%d bloggers like this: