Archive | October, 2012

Real Talk Blog, In Bar

31 Oct

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A Halloween drink with some of the casties, post rehearsal. We are the youngest people in the place by at least¬† four decades…because younger people are at real parties right now.

…You may have a slutty pumpkin, or whorish wench giving you a blowjob right now, but we are makin time with septugenarians in lederhosen singin’ standards. Snap!

…None of us (of course) are wearing costumes…’cept Marty. She’s got 8-year-old boy Captain America underwear on the outside of her leggings. She’s been a big hit. With me in my corset, we decided we were a theme couple called, “Tits & Ass.”

…I feel compelled to let you know that the comic book underwear, never previously belonged to an 8-year-old boy. They were bought new…and sorta cut off her circulation a bit…cuz did you know…she’s a grown woman? I try to keep that on the downlow. It’s more fun.

(Sips my bad burgundy wine as a tone deaf woman of a certain age sings “When You’re Good To Mama,” from Chicago…with all the bump and grinds)

… I can’t even believe I’m ignoring everyone right now to blog with two-finger thumb punches on my phone app. Always remember, I love you this much. My dedication is pure.

Hope your holiday was hot as hell, kids ūüėČ

~D

Marty Starts A Blog

30 Oct

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Shut up, you guys…Marty started a blog today.¬† I was so excited I almost spit.¬†

…Not only for her, but for the us’s…so I can share her mind-parts with you directly. For reasons I never understand, people tend to think I exaggerate things all the time, so this will be my way to PROVE TRUE in all that is in the department of the artist formally known as “M.”

Subscribe to it, and show the new kid some love, why don’t yuh?¬† I did! You’re life will only be richer for it.¬† I promise.

Also: Happy Halloween Eve. This is the day I would be doing my “dress rehearsal” round (with all makeup and effects)…to make sure I would look bonafide badass, on the big day. Like this:
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…Since infancy, Ma’s gone all out on the building of these things. Because it is HER art, and because I respect it so much, I contract her from time to time to keep it up. My Cruella De Ville year was particularly magnificent…you only WISH you knew me then. But such it not to be for tonight and tomorrow. Instead, we rehearse like mad, dressed in rehearsal skirts, lace-up boots and corsets over our t-shirts, as we recklessly wave swords through the air, and make merry with love and revenge.

…It is really hard to complain when we basically get to play at dress-up every single day. So I won’t. I will just enjoy our strange little world for what it is and keep in mind that everyone ELSE gets but ONE night a year…and I get 365 of them, to dress up in shit!

…I don’t get candy for my efforts, but bucks and the people I hang with are better anyway…so I win, in the end.

I. Win.

Me.

…Write that down, cuz I don’t want you to go forgetting it and things.

…Meanwhile: as you all begin your Hallows Eve festivities…be careful, have fun, and stay wherever the hell you plan on drinking. Don’t make me go all slap-a-bitch on yuh!

~D

Eleventh Hour Postings

29 Oct

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I need to get out of this current schedule so I have enough time to actually post a full blog before the midnight deadline…not just “start” one.

“Marty” offered some of her future ink quotes as writing prompts…but then the more I looked at them trying to pick, the more I realized they deserved their own full topic write-up, not just a quick flash in print.

…So I will be keeping them for tomorrow, and tonight, focus on late night city life.

…The highway is pock-marked with drivers, while I launch homeward bound from rehearsal and pub-hang. At the downtown exits, a few trickle off onto side ramps, and again on detours, so I am the only one (at quarter to midnight) sitting at a non-populated stoplight intersection, ill timed so the ghosts are given greens while I sit on a hill, just off Broadway.¬†

The Rialto sign lights flash in that 60’s Vegas reminiscence…with actual bulbs popping on in a wave of succession, as the Pantages (it’s classier more austere brother) looks on from across the street with it’s meticulous readerboard, just newly updated.¬† There on the corner, the only “front” open this time of night: the Bail Bonds building, is empty, as its single minder smokes a cigarette in the chrisp, fall air.¬† A flash from the signboards bouncing off the windows where the “Open 24 Hours” sign hangs…as if one NEEDS to advertise for bailing-out services, instead of them being a necessary part of proceedings, just down the street from the court and social services buildings.

…I yawn so widely, that my face nearly splits in two from the effort, as the light finally turns green.

…Should I go home and prep for bed first, or write the blog…becomes my question. Too much comfort, ‘tween the sheets, and I’d be out like a light.¬† I know this.¬† So I opt to write first, kicking off my sandals and peeling the wet tights from my feet…I toss them on the floor where I will find them in the morning and give ’em a good soak, then hang to dry in time for tomorrow’s run.

…We are still in soft-soled shoes…these sandals my only of such, as most opt for socks running about the stage.¬† I need more grip for my lifts and constant shenanigans, so have been living in these “shoes” all week.¬† A well aired pair, meant for dead of summer appropriateness and coverage…not rainy, leaf-slicked, puddle-filled parking lots and roadways.¬† Every night, I go home with soaking feet, which I either bathe in hot water, or beat back with an Airborn tab in water, just before brushing my teeth.

…Am glad the floor will be sealed and we return to shoes tomorrow.¬†

Work-and-review rehearsal, together with Act II tonight…back to runs tomorrow.¬† We open in 10 days, and are well prepared for it…not that we have nowhere to grow, only that we are solid and finessing…which is an excellent place to be, and often out of the ordinary at this point in juncture.

…Some new ideas for energy tomorrow.¬†

…It needs to be in constant supply (at different levels, naturally) and it’s a difficult feat end-of-a-workday to sustain.¬† Did good work at it last night and this, but I feel I need a back-up “just in case of emergency, break glass here” plan.¬† It mostly involves caffeine in coffee variety instead of my usual tea.¬† It’ll prob’ly help my bladder lots too…cuz my current worry is forgetting to go to the bathroom ‘tween scenes, and then get whirrled around on stage and accidentally pee all over everything.¬† This is just how my brain works.¬† And if you worry…that makes you have to pee too…so right now, I’m drinking mass amounts of black leaf and peeing or dancing around because I have to, pretty much all the time.¬† Which is not great once they add my dress and corset this weekend.¬† So I should prob’ly fix that.

…Maybe.

…Three till One.¬†

I’m exhausted.¬†

…Time for face-washing and teeth brushing and falling onto the sheets.¬† Tomorrow: will add fresh laundered ones to the bed…was gonna tonight but then “life” happened and it was 6 hours later all of a sudden.

Time is always doing that when you least expect it.

…For now: it’s to sleep and drool till I wake up yelling at the alarm clock.

(aka: your average Tuesday.)

~D

I Want To Eat You

28 Oct

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It’s something I say to a book, sometimes…so get your mind out of the gutter there, friend.

When I was a kid, I couldn’t consume a book fast enough to please me.¬† I’d spend ten hours straight, totally uninterrupted on a Summer’s day, and rip through “Gone with the Wind,” or “War & Peace.”¬† I’d plow through Bronte and Austen and Dickens every Holiday Season. I’d devour L.M. Montgomery and Twain in special closeted room seclusion.¬† On every car ride, on every vacation and trip…even at the breakfast table over Cheerios: there would be a book.

…For me, it wasn’t only the stories, it was the language that fascinated me. I would eventually begin introducing their speaking patterns and word choices into my own lexicon…which is weird to hear comin’ out of a little eight-year-old Latina kid.¬† I’d speak in accents for whole days…just because I could, and it seemed totally natural to me.¬† And these worlds and words became obsessions…I would always hunger for more, the more I read…wanted to consume them…to read them out loud and chew them.¬†

…To actually eat the words, and have them somehow make me a better, more clever, talented, funny,¬†bold, and dramatic. To MAKE me into those specific characters…even if only for a little while.

…Which is a large contributing reason of why I love theatre.

It is your opportunity to consume and digest words on a page, and use the power that they give you via their interpretations, meanings and thoughts, to bring this character to life from a book’s pages, a script…with more choices involved being as you are now responsible for even their walk, stance, physical interactions, plot projections, and vocal choices.

Sometimes, just like when reading aloud from a Novel, these things come easily to you, free of thought really…the character seems to just “be” this way, in it’s most basic form, and you build from there. Sometimes you have to dig and dig to get the information needed at every stage of the character’s building…like an Archaeologist slowly resurfacing information, one tiny sweep of sand at a time, on who this person was, buried in this paper tomb and waiting to be reintroduced to the world again. Sometimes it volunteers you information, from places you are totally unaware of, and can’t quite explain…yet because of it’s insistence of “being” there, I always work doubly hard to justify the “choice” made in that moment. Because it was (for whatever reason) a gut instinct that just happened. And gut instincts are usually the correct line to follow, simply because it was a natural inclination. Not forced.

…Because of this long-time fascination with language and words, it happens most often that the “gut instinct” choices will first form with the words. If I read a script out loud (the only way they are meant to be), in time a natural voice for the character will emerge. And because I’ve done character acting for so many years, it tends to be often of some accented requirement. So this, then, becomes their voice…with changes here and there in pitch or cadence to fit them closer. What is really difficult for me, is when the voice is asked to change, halfway through the process.

…By now, it is so much a part of the character, that the lines just naturally cling to it…as much as the posture on stage, naturally falls into place. I am passed now, the point of thinking about those things…they were built and settled several weeks ago, and my head is now onto other specifics. It is a note, however, of wanted change, so I am now trying to retrace my step back to the root to retrain my brain, who is stubbornly wanting to be focused on other things. It shouldn’t be a difficult alteration…it isn’t a true accented issue (which was confusing me, until a specific clarification was made)…it’s a softening of the “r’s” mostly…sometime a softer “t” here a there…a more cultured and genteel sound, for the fact she is more educated, a Lady in Waiting, a certain status, not just a kitchen serving wench. And it also is placed to put more likeness to the stiffness of Malvolio’s regime over the house and his specific speaking style, to help bridge the gap between the two worlds of servant and master, that she pops in and out of…and what happens as she allows that mask to slip when in the company of Sir Toby. It is part of showing her struggle between doing the thing that is right and proper, and the moments when we see the total unabashed relief and joy, in saying, “Fuck it! I’m just gonna have a good time!”

…But if I am not explaining that enough with the action of it, or if it is getting in the way of the bigger picture, it has to change.

…Now, you can certainly pick and choose your battles with notes given, and though it is a major character choice for a reason to me, I also understand that it is hitting the Director’s ear and saying, “No.” So “no” is the answer. And my job: a new alteration, and justification. It’s what notes are for: to bring each character into the pack, as a whole, and to make one joint vision of this thing. When your instinct to fight a note pops up (and I’m stubborn, so I have to work extra hard on this point), you need to step back and trust that this thing is for a greater good aspect. At this point, we are all so tunnel visioned with our own work and characters, it is impossible to see outside of that.

It’s our job to focus, so we do…it’s our job to define and interpret…so we do. It’s our job to make specific choices, and put them out there on that stage. And it’s the job of the Director to keep all the plates spinning, the show as a whole, with all these individuals attacking words in print and flinging them about the stage with a thousand intents and purposes.

Now that certain concessions have been made on the Monologue From Hell, this is my new task to tackle. To change her language…how she eats her words, difficult because it was there in her first beginning of learning to walk and talk…like a child, learning that “this” word sounds “this” way, so “this” is how I will always say it…contributed hugely by the influences of those about them.

…Which is how, in even a non-accented situation, you get choices that delineate and are specific. The difference between “Ont” and “Aunt.” “To-ma-to” and “tomato.” “War-shing” and “washing.” “Caribbean” and “Car-i-bbea-n.” Vocal choices…we make them all day long in every conversation we have, not even knowing it, because it is so much a part of who we are at this point.

…Guys, acting ain’t for sissies. When you break things down to these kind of elements, and need to re-educate yourself, its almost like learning another language, on the fly, and justifying it, letting it alter the heart of your character as little as possible at a stage where we are soon launching into tech.

Homework is good…it makes you push to an end, to have a specific focus. Where this note is specifically difficult, is that it is sourced from literally my childhood. The way a person sounds, is just how they sound…and always have, to my ear. Like a musician ear caters to specific notes in succession, making music. I only really realized WHY she talked the way she did, when I had to study it in order to find the code to break it. Then once understanding why the natural choice was made, and realizing what that brings to the table, I learned so much from that discovery, that I want to keep it alive in some way, because it’s pretty straight-up legit.

…So between now and today’s run through at 3:30, my homework is to give Maria a new voice, with the old reasons still intact.

…This is just a long way to say: “I have a lot of work ahead. And what we do on a stage isn’t easy. Just so we’re clear on that.”

~D

A Buddy Date

27 Oct

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It’s buddy night.

The Fella, “Marty” and I grab beer, Cheetos, and pizza, and put on the Michigan game.

…”Marty” loses her mind as her Alma Mater’s Quarterback is outed on an injury, and all hell breaks loose. She’s jumping up and down, screaming at the TV, baiting the other team’s players with mean commentaries, bitching the umpires out on their calls, and yelling her ass off when any yardage is gained at all. She also yells when yardage is lost, but it sounds totally different from the other scream.

…The Fella might get evicted for this, but seems to be taking it quite well. In fact, I think it’s kinda catching. Cuz half way in, he’s hollering at the TV as well.

…In between plays, they go through all the intricacies of the game for me…using diagrams and dots, with swishing and articulate angles, in a host of examples of plays. I watch, blinking on, as I am not now, nor have ever been the slightest bit interested in Football, and prob’ly never will be. But for some reason, with the level of excitement they wield, and the intensity of their miming and explanations, I start to actually get a little into it all. Surprising, how much they get me to retain before “Marty” commands the game be shut off, end of the last quarter…so she doesn’t have to watch her beloved team “not win.”

…Notice how I didn’t say “lose.” It’s cuz I understand her grief, and I care about her too much for that.

…To try and ease the pain, we then pop on “Halo,” and commence blowing the absolute shit outta things, as therapy. For something like four hours. Then it turns to theatre talks, and chip eatings and tech stuffs and playwrights, and classical vs. contemporary works and how they sell, and why, and which ones we wanna do. It’s nearly two now as I complete this blog, (began earlier in the evening), and we have just finally left The Fella’s and The BFF’s house…nine hours later.

So we had a good day of it.

…Was nice to be back in the apartment again. I hadn’t been since The BFF moved to L.A.. And though I thought it might be kinda sad to go hang out there all night without her…there was no need to think so. She’s all over the place, in the million little ways that people you love always are. I miss her, sure, but it turned into the good kind…because we were thinkin’ about her, she was checkin’ in from time to time, and I know she was stoked that we had hang time together, so The Fella’s inclination to just work non-stop all the time, would get a much needed rest.

At least for tonight.

…If you call us “rest.” Which I really doubt you could. But at least beer was involved.

And now: to bed.

Full run again tomorrow. Early scene workings before the “go.” Need to get some good sleep.

It’s gonna be a long one.

~D

“A Case Of The Fridays”

26 Oct

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I am having, “A Case of the Fridays.”

…This is when paychecks have already shown up, everyone from Corporate has already left for the weekend, Boss is out having cocktails, and I am sitting here basically waiting for phones to ring.¬† “A Case of the Fridays,” is actually oddly exhausting…all this nothingness after a week of everythingness, where you sit there and look at the volume of emails and contracts and reports you’ve sent out, sitting in the sorting file, and become reminded of just how much paperwork and record keeping you do all day long, everyday, and how it is never going to change, and how “retirement” is still like 30-something years away.

…”A Case of the Fridays” can be oddly depressing, at times, for an end-of-the-week “period” to five days of collected crap.

…And that’s when I remember that I have this whole OTHER job that defines me, and of which I am proud, and eager to work in, and learn from. Then, “A Case of the Fridays,” sorta starts to melt away into a muddy little puddle, that I will accidentally step in, first thing on Monday morning.

…But that’s another problem, two whole days from now, so lets not think about it at the moment.

…At the moment, all I need to think about is what to blog today.¬†

Not a whole lot to throw out there for you guys.¬† Just sitting here at my desk, and looking around for inspiration, doesn’t help much.¬†

The ancient Kennedy Administration furnace just conked back on, with a couple jiggles and a bang. Every time it begins it’s new cycle, it’s like raising the dead. But at least it is consistent, and though all is gross and wetness outside my wall of windows, inside we are holding to the low 70’s (because I can.)¬†

The phone rings.  I answer it.  The call is complete. 

…I sigh, and look around again.

Out in the lobby, on the carpet, is a spent cigarette butt. Tracked in (no doubt) from the tooth-grip of a Contractor’s boot. It’s all shriveled up and twisted…and cuz of the filter, looks a lot like a pretzel.

…I’m hungry.

…See how almost everything can turn into something about “food” with me?

Another phone ring.¬† You guys, I know…the suspense and adventure I’m giving you right now is just unbelievable.¬† And you’re welcome for that.

…”Marty” is dinging me with IM’s every so often, as we chat about yesterday’s blog, and what she’s eating that I wish I was eating (answer: a blueberry bagel), and how we are going to see a show tonight, and about what we are gonna eat before it, and who we are gonna see once we are there, and if I can slip out early…since it IS only Friday…and beat the traffic, maybe.)

…But then, it’s already a quarter after 3 anyway…at this point, how much of a jump on the commute can I really get?

…Plus I need to go home and maybe change or something first.¬† Or maybe not.

I have to pee.

Listen, I know this isn’t your usual post of topical theme and stuff, but I feel like we know each other well enough by now, for me to be like, “Guys, it’s one of those days, can I just do this stream of pointless narrative instead?”

…And you’ll be like, “Dude, whatever you need.¬† It’s been a WEEK, and we totally get that.”

…And I’ll be like, “See, this is why we hang out.¬† Because you ‘get it’ and stuff.”

…And you’ll be like, “Fuck YEAH we do.¬† Cuz I’ve got ‘A Case of the Fridays’ too!”

…And I’ll be like, (clap of hand on your back) “I feel yuh bro.¬† Let’s you n’ me leave early, and get to the more important things is life.¬† Like what’s for dinner.”

…And you’ll be like, “…Whatever it is: it’s gonna have beef in it!”

…And that’s the first time I’ll take your hands in mine, look you in the eye, and with all my soul tell you:

“I love you.”

~D

Dear SWAL…

25 Oct

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“M” happens to have a fantastic job as a sort of expert relationship rejuvenation texting therapist, for a specific brand of products.¬† It’s a legit gig, for which she gets paid, and is the source of many wonders in conversations we have, day-to-day.

…The fact that this is a “thing” in today’s day and age, is mind-blowing to me. The fact she gets to sit at home in PJ’s and talk about sex, while eating a whole tube of Pringles in one sitting, and get paid for it, seems not quite fair.¬† And I told her this.¬† Often. When we first started hanging out.

…Which is when she started posting me actual questions that she fields day-to-day, via text, FB and private IM.¬†

And that’s when I stopped being covetous of her.¬†

…Because her “people” are actually much worse than my “people”…and the fact that she has to get them with others of their kind to procreate…as like “her job,” and things…made me feel less envious and hateful toward her.

…If nothing else, it always offers a laugh to my day…and makes me feel less of a personal disaster area than I thought previously.¬† And because she is a good egg and all, she thought it might be an amusing anecdote to carry around with you from time to time, as well.¬† Which is how this: the FIRST of a series we will be calling “Dear SWAL,” came to be.

…The questions will be plucked directly from her inbox, and the answers: from my brain.¬† The final product should be a terrifying look at why you should never ask me relationship advice.¬† And also (hopefully) spin some of her headache days into a new field of appreciation in idiocy.¬† No changes will be made to spelling or content.¬† This is particularly important, as you will soon see.

This one’s for the “Marty” to my “Roz.”

Dearest “Marty”: Here is why I could never do your job…

***

Question: “I fil lyk m tryin so hard in mi afair thou i no dat he ain’t a talker.”

Answer: ” Lt mi giv 2 u str8: eye donut tink are progrm will hlp u much. we bass r produck on txt skilz and the anglish lingo. if u aint of the haven it, we aint able 2 hlp. sorry 4 realz.”

~

Question: “I sent my first ‘crossing the bridge’ text to my ex girlfriend and her response was ‘Fuck off’. What does that mean?”

Answer: “She just blew up the bridge. Put the phone down. Attached is your refund code.”

~

Question: “A man who’s very capable of clipping his own fingernails and toenails but still asks you to do it for him. Is that any indication that he’s into me?”

Answer: “This is only indicative of him having a certain grooming/mothering fetish, or just being a lazy bastard. My advice in both instances: run.”

~

Question: “Can you tell me why a man would be so wrapped up in hobbies and cats and have 400 cat pics and be too stubborn to take pics of me or want to have any pics of me on his computer or Facebook?”

Answer: “The Greeks called it ‘Zoophilia,’ a sheep calls it ‘the back 40,’ I call it: ‘prob’ly not what you’re looking for.’ Trust me. Move on.”

~

Question: “I am 16 years old and she is 17 we had a relationship for almost 3 years and she claimed she fell out of love with me or just was not feeling it. She said i was just immature. I want her to fall in love with me again because we had promise rings and everything to spend the rest of our lives together and i loved the thought of that. i\’ve tried other girls but she is the only girl for me. I am meant for her, wha do i do?”

Answer: “Dear ’16’: I remember you. So I’m not gonna tell you all the things everyone else is going to…about how ‘you’re young,’ and ‘things will change,’ and ‘time will pass,’ and ‘you’ll move on,’ and ‘there will be others,’ and ‘you can’t make people love you.’ Instead I’m just gonna state: ‘Yeah. What they said.'”

~

Question: “why is my account auaoened?”

Answer: “Because gerfuoded.”

~

Question: “what are the first 3 methods to getting her back into my life”

Answer: “Have you tried asking her yet.”

~

Question: “Plz help I won\’t something to say to my ex to win her back plzzz with u help me”

Answer: “I need you to put the bottle down, calmly turn around, and walk away from the car. I have her on the other line, she’s locked herself in, and you’re really freaking her out right now…”

~

Question: “Am a virgin, and we both agreed that i keep the virginity. But recently, he started cheating on me. I confronted him and he denied it. And since then, he has been acting so mean to me. Am so confused do not know what to do, because i still love him”

Answer: “Yes. You keep your virginity. He’s obviously already got several others’ and there’s no reason to let him be a pig about it. Meanwhile, the local chapters of Catholic and Jewish Mothers With Of-Age Sons, would like to field your interest in dating registrations…”

~

Question: “i hate my ex i think i should kill him….i hate this feeling”

Answer: “I’m afraid I don’t know what you are asking. Please clarify in a ‘question’ format. Or for all ‘general statements,’ please press ‘4’ to re-send text to appropriate mailbox.”

~

Question: “you mention ’emotional intimacy’. What is that exactly?”

Answer: “Funny, that’s what my date said last night…”

~

Question: “When a man says to you ‘lets get together soon…’ what does he mean by ‘soon’? days ? weeks ? months ?”

Answer: “On the twelfth. Of never.”

~

Question: “How forward is too forward for a woman to be?”

Answer: “Are you the only one naked, and is he calling the Police…?”

~

Question: “When a guy is ignorant I get attracted to him , as soon as he gets attracted to me n show he is interested I lose interest !? why is it so? am I normal?”

Answer: “Sadly, normal. But we have ten or twelve products that can fix that!”

~

Question: “What can you reply when someone tell you this: ‘I’ll never be happy unless I cheat from time to time’.”

Answer: “Goodbye.”

~

…That’s all for now, Cuties. Happy texting!

~D

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