From The Bunny Ranch

29 Jun


Welcome new readers!  I have some.  Already!  And as-such, seems we’ll have to do a bit of last-season-wrap-up to get them into the swing of things.  So here goes, the condensing of the multi-episodic soap opera that was my previous blog.

Firstly: I will irritate you with purposely incorrect grammar, punctuation and completely made up words.  Like it or lump it.

Second: I will never disclose a single person’s actual identity, about whom I am writing.  Unless they are famous.  Then I’ll name-drop that shit till the cows come home.  You may certainly make guesses as to their ID, but keep it (and mine, if you know it) to your damn self. Mmkay?

Third:  I have two jobs.  It may get confusing to follow the drama if you aren’t made aware of that.  The first one is my “career.”‘  I am an Actor.  A theatre one. I do it often and all over, and even get paid, so can legally write things like movies and books off my taxes every year.  This is very important, because those two things are the crack-cocaine of my very existence.  So, I will, coincidentally, be writing a lot about them, too. 

…The second job is the job I have to have, to actually pay the bills.  This time, I’m not even going to name-drop the true profession.  Instead, I will liken it to working in a cheap Brothel…which totally translates, if you happen to know what it is I really do. 

I don’t get paid well for it.

I work like a dog at it.

The Boss makes his living because I do all the work for him

It’s populated with other-whores, only they work as independent contractors, for which I personally serve as Pimp.

…And not a day goes by wherein I don’t feel screwed raw and left for dead.

….”So get a new second job!” you might be saying.

The short answer to that is: I’m trying.  The long one is: Meanwhile, I can afford to be picky, cuz at least I already have a job.  And why “settle” again, when I don’t have to?

Fourth: I try my best to be “entertaining” in voicing my frustrations.  Dark comedy has made others into millionaires.  For me, it just makes having to reach for the Xanax bottle a less-frequent occurrence. But first and foremost, this is my “out”… my “haven”…my land of Oz. So sometimes, it won’t be “entertaining.”  Sometimes that shit might bum you out or make you say, “Hmmm…” with a thinky face of serious reflection…or fire you up to want to call me out on the street and exchange in some fisticuffs.  I totally understand this.  So you should too.

Fifth: There is no “fifth,” but I’m anal retentive and having an incomplete set of count-offs is like someone going into my cupboards and turning all the labels around.  Just wrong.

Consider yourself caught-up.

…Now onto the new season…



4 Responses to “From The Bunny Ranch”

  1. ElmoTee June 29, 2012 at 6:44 pm #

    Now I totally want to turn the labels around in my cupboards and pretend you snuck in while I slept….

    • classicmoviewatcher June 30, 2012 at 12:54 am #

      I would too. Or even if while visiting on a Holiday. But I’d be real stealth at it. You might never know…

  2. Puff June 29, 2012 at 9:06 pm #

    Cuz, I love you!

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